Letting Go Is Easier Said Than Done
By Lawrence
Over the past few months, family and friends have been very nice and insisted to get me our of my pad to enjoy some sunlight instead of working days and nights. I understand why they are doing that and I greatly appreciate their kindness. Some even go the extra mile to force me to talk about how I feel since what happened last year.
For many people, talking about their loss of the loved one can help them find a closure of the past. For me, however, it actually does the opposite thanks to very good at remembering things. Believe me, being able to recall events as if replaying a movie has its usage. But the emotions and feelings that are triggered can be difficult to bear at times.
My older brother is the most direct one. He is the kind who has nerve of steel hence the ability to take on huge investment decisions. He made it so simple – that I should stop thinking about the past and let go now.
I told him if it were that easy, I would have done it by now, isn’t it?
I don’t blame him for not understanding as our personalities are very different. His trading style is completely different from mine. Well, I would like to say my trading style is better because it is more stress free. I guess we will never be able to make a proper comparison since there is no objective measures on these things.
My strength is my ability to feel. By understanding the emotion side of trading, I aggregated that understanding into knowledge applicable to trading. It serves me well all these years. Knowing who is in pain in the trading game tells you what to do to take advantage of the situation.
This strength I have lately becomes a problem as I have a very difficult time to let go of my past. I cherish every moment I have with my late girlfriend. Yet I know it is not a good thing my mind chooses to stay in the past.
A good friend suggested that I am surrounding myself with the past, that’s why I am stuck in the past. This insight is very true as every part of my place can bring back memories. To be able to let go, I have to face reality and make the hard choice to stop the spiral down effect.
In other words, I need to move.
I have made my decision – find a different part of the city to relocate to and hope for the best.
p.s. Now comes the pain in the arse issue – the trouble of moving.
Thanks for reflecting candidly on the pain of interrupted love. I can’t say “I’ve been there and done that.” I haven’t…yet. How does one manage a “trade” you can’t close once the heart has opened? In the end doesn’t risking the investment of your entire heart vulnerably around the fragile life of another bear too priceless a reward of having truly loved not to justify risking all? When death freezes the investment in one’s memory, for those who believe death is a mindless sleep followed by the eventual resurrected reunion of those who can be trusted to be eternally innocent, a golden lining wraps around the sweet sorrow of parting and the tender memories, as expressed by Paul’s assurance “I would not have you troubled concerning them that sleep…”
Future is unknowable. Past is unchangeable. For most of us, life is nothing but converting the unknowable future into unchangeable past in the present… never realizing totally missing the present. I have found that letting go is easy once I understood the present moment is the constant. Paying full attention to it makes the process of letting go easier and simpler. Inevitable even. Now I agree … paying such full attention is easier said than done. 🙂
I hope you find the solace you are looking for in a new place. Still it is more fruitful to immerse your being in the present moment, because wherever you go .. across town, across the ocean, different planet … wherever you go, there you are. Solution therefore is within.
Yes the solution definitely has to be coming from within.
It takes time though … a long time.